Toilet Learning Part 1

When T turned 2, we started focusing on toilet learning. This was not T's first exposure to the potty. At around 18 months, he started showing interest in the potty and signaling sometimes when he needed to pee or had a bowel movement. We purchased a BabyBjourn potty, placed it in our bathroom and encouraged him to sit on it. He would sit there, sometimes with clothes on and sometimes off. He also watched us use the toilet. He would signal to go to the restroom at restaurants and stores, but this quickly seemed to become more a ploy to go explore than actually use the potty because he stopped wanting to even sit on the big toilet. I felt that we were in his sensitive period for beginning toilet learning, which is defined in the Montessori method as 12 to 18 months, but we did not switch him to training pants at that time. Why you may ask? Well, I am not a stay at home mom so major decisions about my son are made with my mom, or at least with my mom in mind. She takes cares of my son while I work. I try to find middle ground with her although I'm not sure she would always agree with that statement. :-)

So at 2, we agreed to really focus on toilet learning. Our first phase was to switch T to wearing training pants when he's at home and awake. We frequently asked him if he needed to use the potty, and he generally said no. We would try unsuccessfully to lure him in there with books. He wet/soiled his training pants just like a diaper. He also fought us about putting on his training pants. He would cry, kick and scream unless we distracted him with what we were going to do after he got dressed. On a side note, I don't consider this an award, just a statement of fact to refocus my child's attention. This is not really new behavior for my son though when it comes to dressing. He tends to put up a running fight about diaper changes and getting dressed. While I try to encourage him to dress himself, he would generally prefer to run around naked... and so that's what we did. 

Our next phase of toilet learning, which began around the time T turned 2 years 1 month old, was to skip the training pants completely. He now spends his awake hours at home without any underpants or pants on. We also relocated his potty to our kitchen so that it's really convenient to where he plays. 

Next to his potty, we have a chair where we sit to read to him, a basket full of books, a flushable wet wipes container and a basket of his training pants for when we do need them. The first day we tried this new approach, T went to the potty on his own and used it multiple times. Once he has used the potty and we help him wipe, as needed, he carries the potty bowl to the bathroom, dumps it in the toilet, turns on the water for the sprayer we have attached to the toilet and sprays out the potty bowl while we hold it. Then he washes his hands. I should note that the distance from his potty in the kitchen to the bathroom toilet is significant, probably close to 50 feet. I am always a bit nervous watching him carry his potty, but he is very careful. 

We do encourage T to sit on the potty regularly. We have the most success with this if we simply sit down and start reading a book next to the potty. Then he will usually come over and sit on the potty. He does not frequently use the potty in these moments yet though. 

This bare bottom approach to toilet learning has not been 100% successful, nor would we expect it to be in the first couple weeks. We have had accidents. Sometimes T starts to pee and then goes to the potty to finish. Sometimes he pees completely on the floor. Other times, he goes to the potty before he starts. Thankfully, he has been more aware  of his bowel movements. While this approach has been much more successful for us than using training pants, it comes with a lot more stress for the obvious reason of wanting to maintain a clean, sanitary house. You can say we are always on edge. 

We also need to transition to an approach that will work outside of our home. If we take T outside to play or to run errands, we are back to square one. I have purchased a portable potty and a waterproof training pad for his car seat. My next step will be to put him in training pants when we go out and take him to the restroom as soon as we arrive anywhere. Of course, I'll also pack plenty of extra underpants and clothes.

I'll share more updates as we have them. If you have suggestions, please share them in the comments!